Engaging in intentional nonmonogamy is like choosing to take an elective graduate degree in having relationships. “More Than Two” is the hefty book one would…
Psychotherapeutic Access and the Contradictions of Progressive Neoliberalism
Recently I saw comments in a discussion about therapists and insurance in which the commenter condemned therapists who go private pay for being financially inaccessible.…
Self-directed, community-minded.
In a conversation this morning with a client we reflected on the kind of person who is self-directed but in a way that makes life…
Don’t fall before you’re thrown.
This week as a therapist has been a real throwback to the late 2016s and early 2017s when the political climate threw a lot of…
I have been avoiding this.
I keep avoiding this—the blog, writing Internet things, self-expression. Partially it’s because my writing energy has gone toward other projects. The book I am working…
Giving it 60%
This has not been an easy month. Not the worst month ever, and nothing I need to share publicly, but my body went through some…
The Resentment of Finally Getting What You Needed
“If you’ve been around activists for a long time, you might have noticed an oddity when they start getting success. When people finally are ready to hear their message, or show up newly awakened to problems and ready for direction and guidance.
Sometimes, that activist who’s been at it so long doesn’t respond in kind with gratitude or enthusiasm. Sometimes, they respond with resentment, bitterness, and a kind of collapse. Sometimes, they’re pissed at the newer people for taking so long to see the issues. Sometimes, they’re utterly unwilling to continue the work of educating.
This sucks for the folks new to the work, who could use the mentorship and wisdom of the ones who have been on the journey for a while. It sucks when we blast our new would-be allies and co-collaborators with more hostility than we’d direct at our adversaries. It feels unfair, and disillusioning, and may alienate new folks or lead them to marginalize the cranky elder.”
Only Connect
A recent opportunity to see the contemporary play Nonsense and Beauty, about Edwardian British author E.M. Forster, inspired me to return to my English major…
Self-Care is Important, and It’s Not Enough, and You Don’t Need to Apologize for That
“The backlash to Self-care originates, as is often the case, in its over-popularization and watering down. Important practices become touted as cure-alls, and any threat they posed to the political or economic order quickly becomes neutralized once absorbed into it.
So the transformative practices of simply sitting and doing nothing but breathing and observing one’s self, or of taking a break from hustling and consumption to relax in a warm bath, feed back into the atomizing culture of making each individual responsible for their own stress and the management of it.”
Coming Out is Courageous
For Pride I want to say what has been on my heart for years. There has been a thread in Queer Discourse that seems to…