Category: Contemplations

Writings that are contemplative reflections on the astrological archetypes of the moment.

  • The heart may be a set of scales.

    The heart may be a set of scales.

    Scales are a tool of measurement that have also taken on the symbolism of justice and truth. They keep us honest, so that if we offer an ounce of gold, the scale will validate that. Balance is fairness and truth.

    Within us, the heart weighs its own truth against what is happening. We feel if a relationship is too much taking or giving. We feel guilt when we aren’t doing enough. We feel resentment when we’re doing too much.

    We can refine this power of the heart to help us make good decisions for ourselves without the extremes of suffering. Just check in to feel how the balance lands with you, and make adjustments until it is true. Remember that this balance changes daily. An agreement that felt fair yesterday may no longer be fair today because things have changed—you’ve learned new things about the situation, or you’re no longer able to hold your side of it, or you just need a day off.

    Let the heart be your scales and your guide.

  • Love invests us.

    Love invests us.

    Lately I’ve been thinking of getting a new dog. As much as I miss having one around the house, the conversations remind me that dogs require work and tending. They usually don’t show up fully trained, and in the puppy stage there’s a lot you need to invest so that some day you can enjoy a trained, companionable pet. And even then you can’t predict what will happen, how long they’ll live.

    To live without love is a horror that turns men into monsters. Gender specified intentionally. But truly loving is scary because it requires we take the longer perspective and that we set aside momentary frustrations for the health of the relationship. This investment yields so much more than it takes from us, at its best, but we also know relationships end for many reasons and can bring harm.

    So today we are invited to be deliberate about where we invest our love, but still, invest. Extend yourself for someone else. Be willing to try to work things out instead of dismissing them entirely. Yet know your value and your limits. It is a dance of paradoxes.

  • Engage to find wisdom.

    Engage to find wisdom.

    The prevailing urge seems to be to harden around one’s perspective and ideology, to make it bigger and more grandiose, to become even more dismissive of opposition and discourse—but we are in a time when following that urge is likely to draw even more opposition, even more discourse, bigger obstacles that point out the flaws in our reasoning and the lapses in our factual assessment of what is happening.

    Mercury and Jupiter remain at an opposition to each other while Mercury slows down and prepares to retrograde. Both are in signs of personal struggle, yet each is in the other’s sign of rulership. So they can help each other succeed or they can bicker and encourage each other to fail and flail.

    As frustrating as it is, it feels like the move right now is to move toward more engagement, more conversation, more speaking what is true for you and also listening to what is true for the other person with the same attention and curiosity you’d like them to offer you. Yet it is also a good time to feel out where attention and curiosity feel possible and fruitful, and where bringing those energies would actually defeat and diminish you. Not all conversations are safe, and not all people are willing or able to listen.

  • Burn with righteousness.

    Burn with righteousness.

    Mars, the spirit of war and will, has left the realm of securing the home and now moves into a territory far more bombastic and proud, willing to make dramatic pronouncements and stir up shit for its cause.

    Personally, I find righteousness increasingly repugnant and unhelpful for any kind of relationship. Today, however, what feels like the teaching that’s being offered is how important it is to stand proudly for whatever cause or people are yours. There is a way in which we aspire to have objective morals and laws, and there is a way in which our morality begins with whom we are aligned with, whom we identify with. We’re more likely to overlook the criminal elements of our home team, for example, and to highlight the criminality of our adversaries.

    This message to me feels quite dramatic, as is Leo’s purview, but at its heart it speaks to me of being for yourself, being for your people. Even in conflict, each party in a conflict has its own interests and values that must meet and clash so that a true harmony can arise. When someone is pretending to care, or hiding their true values, then any agreement will be incomplete and prone to disruption down the line.

    So the positive power of this message, to burn with righteousness, feels like a willingness to glow with the love and passion of your cause. May we hold that power without the shadow of dehumanizing and degrading our adversaries.

  • Do a kindness for yourself.

    Do a kindness for yourself.

    Today the moon in Cancer opposes Venus in Capricorn, suggesting that our longing for nurturance and safety and a place to be our deepest selves feels somewhat in conflict with the desire to draw toward ourselves the resources and power we need to create grand works of beauty and love. Yet these are also compliments in opposition. The moon is in her realm here, so close to our bodies and feelings, calling us to bring sweetness to ourselves and those closest to us. We can hold the both, anchoring in what makes us feel the most at home in our lives while opening up to those who might see us and be drawn toward us for collaboration.

    In practical terms, it feels right to spend a little extra time today to be cozy, to be sweet to you and those with whom you share your home—whatever home is for you.

  • Know your worth.

    Know your worth.

    The past couple years have featured a collective purging of unworkable habits around people-pleasing and diplomacy that doesn’t include one’s own needs, along with an embrace of increasing self-assertion and instinctive willfulness that creates more space for one’s self. Today that dialectic wants to be grounded in a love that is bigger than the personal self, in a drive toward beauty that is ambitious and grand, that remembers the past and holds a future aspiration.

    What will you invest into yourself and your life to move you toward greatness? What does greatness mean to you, personally, in your own life? It’s a word that’s loaded up with its own toxicity when it’s attached to ideas of status and fame that really don’t matter to you. If you could set those ideas aside and sit with the question, what would make my life truly great? What would I need to acquire, to learn, to unlearn, to let go of that would increase what is great within my life, my relationships, my family, my community?

    When you know your worth, you know where your value serves and where it does not. You don’t need to be all things for all people. You simply are the best of yourself and find the people and situations that value what is best of you, and find the people and situations that can help you with things that aren’t your best. Spending time knowing yourself in this way gives direction to that energy of self-assertion that might otherwise be too impulsive, too distractible, too lacking in a plan. It harnesses that energy toward your own purpose.

  • Watch what happens, not what is said.

    Watch what happens, not what is said.

    A lesson that I’ve been slow to learn in life is that people don’t always mean the things they say—or they might mean them in the moment, but then immediately forget they said it, or change their mind. Also confusing is that sometimes people speak using words that sound really aggressive or dramatic, and they don’t mean the literal interpretation of their words, rather they are using a dramatic expression to convey the intensity of feeling they’re feeling.

    Regardless of what a person says, what they do tells us more about them. I am reminded of that story from The Princess Bride in which the Dread Pirate Roberts tells his captive, every night, “Goodnight, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.” This is probably really scary the first dozen times, but eventually one stops believing the threat. After hundreds of mornings not being killed, the threat stops seeming like a literal threat. The behavior says, I value you, I am keeping you around.

    Another measure is the effects of the behavior. If someone says they love you but their behavior consistently leaves you feeling abused, neglected, or diminished—well, it doesn’t matter what they say. It doesn’t matter why they’re acting the way they’re acting. What matters is that you are not experiencing being loved in this relationship, and if the other person truly values you, you need to work together to change that. And if they are unwilling to work with you, then you’re likely better served looking for a relationship in which you experience love.

    With Jupiter in Gemini the tendency to make big pronouncements, empty promises, and ambiguous but scary threats would be pronounced. To listen to those as the earnest truth, or to dismiss them as inconsequential ramblings, neither seem like workable paths forward. But if we can, we can try to be rocks in the river, deeply grounded and letting the flood of words pass over and around us. In this grounded state, not clinging to the words, we have an easier vantage to watch what is really happening.

  • Hope must contend with horror.

    Hope must contend with horror.

    Even if you can get your mind in a state of optimism, ready to move boldly, you might be limited by the fears within and around you. So often this past week I’ve noticed how when someone tries to offer an optimistic perspective it gets met with an almost aggressive despair, with an edge of anger that this other person is not in the despair as well.

    It is hard when we’re not in the same place. Scared and angry people may feel more alone, more terrified when others don’t mirror back these terrifying imaginations of the future. The optimist may well be putting on blinders but they may also know that there’s more to see than the horror, and the horror can freeze us in uselessness without some kind of hope to balance it.

    Let both have their say and know neither cannot tell the full truth because we can never know how the future will unfold. The prophets of doom and the heralds of unrealistic possibility speak for potentials in the moment, not certainties. You need not argue with everything that is said. Only let this tension start to wriggle you out of stuckness.

  • Receive the fall.

    Receive the fall.

    Receive the fall.

    Accept the loss.

    Return to power.

    It’s time to get soft. Bracing for impact only increases the risk of harm should the impact occur. If your body is relaxed and fluid, more energy can move through it with less harm.

    Sometimes we lose, and it is normal to have a whole range of responses to losing, and all of those feelings deserve attention, but there is strength in accepting the loss without surrendering one’s position and values. When we lose, it’s a time to look at whether our strategies are actually working for us, or whether our stories about the world are accurate.

    We might want to grow more rigid and attached to our stories for fear of betraying and abandoning what is dear to us. And that rigidity gets us more hurt. If you can let yourself go with the flow of energy, you are safer and more present to find opportunities to use that energy for your goals and values. If you focus on resisting the flow of energy with all your might, you’re going to take a beating and I’m not certain it’s worth it.

    Earlier this year I reflected upon not falling before we’re thrown, and that remains an important bit of practice that is good to remember when you’re anxious about a future that hasn’t happened yet. The other piece of that is, once you are thrown, to surrender to the fall. To focus on going with the fall and lengthening your body to make as much contact with the ground as you can, to distribute the force of the blow so no one part of you is taking the hit. Fall safely so you can get back up and try again.

    Note: Having done more than a year of these daily contemplations based on the planets, I’m feeling a desire to shift towards just weekday contemplations less bound to a particular planet or energy. I am going to play some and see where that leads.

  • Self-directed, community-minded.

    In a conversation this morning with a client we reflected on the kind of person who is self-directed but in a way that makes life harder for others—inconsiderate, making changes in community life without checking in with the people who would be affected, more focused on the part than the whole.

    It occurred to me that the problem is not being self-directed. That’s really helpful! I remember in my barista days I had folks on staff who really didn’t take any initiative unless I explicitly told him what needed to be done, even when there was a checklist for everyone to use to see what needs to be done. His request for support and direction might have been understandable if he hadn’t been there for a while, and if I didn’t have to stop and walk him through every task when I was already trying to stay ahead of the numerous things expected of us.

    I know many of us experience this frustration either at work or at home with partners who seem unable or unwilling to take responsibility for the tasks of the household and living. You want some self-direction here, you want them to be able to see for themselves what needs doing and to take the initiative to do it. It is exhausting to have to hold all of the expectations and follow through on them and hold someone’s hand and help them understand and follow through on the expectations.

    But the other side of this is being community-minded. Again, it’s clear that self-direction without community-mindedness is going to create as much irritation as no self-direction at all. Because when you’re operating in a shared space—a workplace, a community, a home you share with others—it serves you well to work the norms and the consensus.

    Any change you make that affects others involved, it behooves you to think proactively about who is impacted and make sure they understand and appreciate the change you’re trying to make. Otherwise, even if you have a great idea, the people who weren’t included are going to be unhappy and make your life a lot harder. On the other hand, if you really pay attention to what helps the community work and you do your piece without being asked, it makes everyone’s life easier and more joyful.